17 More Days...

17 more days until I leave-- and 18 more until the ship departs.

I am finding that every day now I feel a sadness within me at the prospect of having to leave all my beloved friends and family behind for four straight months-- it's not like I'm going away to school and I could just come home whenever I wanted. I will be on a ship with a ton of strangers, many of which with whom I will have very little in common (with the exception of things like being female, a young adult, and a student...). I know that I will make friends but I still wish that my current friends could be there with me. I just look at the group on Facebook and so many people have revealed that they want to sleep with a native in every port, or get drunk in every port, and that simply is not what I want to get out of this trip! It seems like that's half of the ship's attitude... or maybe it's just what is most talked about. I can't tell. Anyway, it's too bad. My roommate seems like a truly nice person, though, so at least we might hopefully get along :-)

I've been doing a lot of reflecting about this coming trip and considering what I want to get out of this trip as I write more of Dad's paper... I hope to come back as a better person, but at the same time, remain humble; I hope that I will gain something positive from each experience I will have, either good or bad; I hope that I will represent Americans in a positive, respect worthy, and beneficial way; I hope that I will gain both international and domestic friends; I hope against hope that when I come back I will still find that those around me can at the very least comprehend the experiences I had just had-- I fear that no one will understand me, something many an alumnus has alluded to; I hope that my friends will still want to be my friends when I get back, and vice-versa; and, finally, I hope that I will not be angry upon my return, and will truly value and respect my family and all that they went and are going through for my benefit.

I know myself well, and I know that it is possible that my attitude will be less than par for a little while when I return in May because for a time it is possible that being home won't be enough for me. I hope that I would change that attitude around to a positive one for having experienced it at all... I will try my very best to keep it that way.

Well, I should go feed the animals and make myself some dinner...

I've been hanging out with my friends as much as possible, and I'm glad that my family has designated dinner nights so we're all together! :-)

That's pretty much it...

Much love,

Michelle