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April 28, 2008: Day 95—Reporting from the middle of the Pacific Ocean!

Hello everyone. I'm writing in this blog because I'm avoiding writing both of my papers... ick. Luckily, I am halfway through one of them, but the other I haven't even started on and it's definitely going to be the harder of the two. Six pages on how learning about Emerson has changed the way I think... Ummm, I don't think so. Not possible. My professor for that class—Professor Edmundson—is a great teacher and used to teach at a hippie school, so if I straight up told him I don't want to write it, he wouldn't get offended, I think... I'm going to ask him if I can write 3 pages and do something else, because at this point, I'd much rather have a final instead. Anyway, we had our Global Studies final today, and let's just say that I was 100% confident on the first two questions and things went downhill from there lol... It doesn't matter if I do horribly on it, though, because they're going to drop our lowest grades and I am pretty sure I have a C, so if I do worse than that, I'll be ok because it'll be dropped. I tried the final anyway, though, so we'll just have to see... I'm excited about finding out what my grades will be. In the rest of my classes, I'm pretty darn sure I will have a solid A in each one. Sweeet. 11 more days tomorrow until I step off of this ship for the last time to see my family again, after nearly 4 months... I cannot wait. I'm really sad that Jess can't come, but considering that I haven't seen her in so long, I guess I can stand to wait 3 more days... I'll probably get really antsy being on the beach and not at home after a while, though. My family's renting a van to drive down and get me because I have 6 bags of varying size and none of our small-ish cars would be able to carry all of that plus my family's baggage. Wow, one more port left and it's Costa Rica... that's going to be amazing. I'm going to do a canopy zip lining tour and what I'm most excited about is horseback riding through the jungle! It's going to be incredible. It's so nice to be able to sleep in as long as I want to now (but if I sleep too long I miss lunch, which = starvation for pretty much the rest of the day) and all I have looming over my head is my papers—well, that's as far as academics go, at any rate... I have plenty of other things looming over my head that have nothing to do with academics, too. In some ways I almost dread going home because I have to face a complicated situation that I've been thinking about 100% constantly for the past month and a half, at least, and what has been contributing to my bouts of insomnia that I've been experiencing for the past two weeks. But, I'm ready to see my friends and family again, and I've decided that the very first thing that I want to do when I get home is cuddle up in my very own bed with Bailey and Spanky, my dog and cat, respectively. Considering that we will arrive in the wee hours of morning, I imagine I will be oh so happy to be in my own newly-painted bedroom (thanks Mom and Dad!) and in my own bed, where I can sleep as long as I want to. I imagine I'm going to want to sleep a lot after this; even though we have lots of down time on the ship it's really not down time at all because you're always doing something, and not even napping is fully satisfying... I went through all my photos today to look for a possibly good cover photo for the yearbook... I hope that they choose one of mine. That would be such an honor indeed, and would look very good on a resume (I'm thinking submitting my portfolio for entrance in the art program at KSU here... mmhmm. It would look very good.). It felt so strange to know that all of that happened no more than 3 ½ months ago, and yet, it feels like forever ago that it all happened. And I and my friends (well, just Caitlin, because she shaved her head) look so different from when we did at the beginning of the voyage. I'm trying to figure out if I'm very different from how I was before... All I know is that I'm definitely going to want to go on a lot more road trips (why on earth does gas have to be so expensive?!), and trips and whatnot in general, and start taking advantage of every little thing in life that gives me pleasure and joy and a sense of life well-lived. Of course, I'm not going to go the wrong way and become hedonistic and only live for things that make me happy. So, no worries there. But I shouldn't live with the regrets that I have, the biggest of which is that I never mastered an instrument. I've tried but I simply don't have the patience—this is why I am anxiously excited about starting up my music minor—I will have to take class piano. I've dreamt of being in an orchestra for a long, long time now, and it makes me truly sad that I never took band in middle or high school. In middle school I was stupid enough to listen to Nicole for telling me that band was for losers and that I absolutely shouldn't do it... At the very least, though, I took chorus, and enjoyed it very much. This reminds me, though, of one of the girls who used to be in that class with me; I think about her every once in a while, even though in recent years I didn't know her that well... She died in a car crash a few years ago, and I remembered her on my graduation day and thought how much she should have been there with us, and yet she wasn't... I was just thinking of her the other day. It's unsettling to have known someone that has died, and I dread the day that someone close to me will leave this world—and me—behind... This is why I want you all to know that no matter how insignificant you may think you are to me, that I appreciate you being in my life and I am so grateful to have known you if we don't meet again. I feel like we people don't tell each other that often enough... It's important to feel appreciated, and to express that appreciation as well... But anyway, I've also decided that the first thing that I want to bake when I get home is coconut macaroons that have been smothered in rich dark chocolate... doesn't that sound amazing? I can't wait to make it, and I hope one of you amazing people reading this will join me! I guess it's kind of obvious, but I have a whole lot on my mind right now and it's triggering all sorts of other feelings, memories, etc... Plus, having just watched Love Actually, I'm feeling all of the complicated emotions showcased in that movie and I feel kind of torn apart by it... I feel like they really do show love (the kind that's in reality), but I think it has been dramatized some... I think I'm becoming a skeptic about fairy tale love, and it's making me sad to think that such a thing really can't exist because I've believed in it all my life. Disney really did give me false ideas of what love really is, and turned me into a hardcore romantic. I try to make someone as happy as I possibly can and I mess up and then it all gets thrown back into my face. There is so much pain involved in the process that I'm starting to think that I want nothing of it... I'm so confused about how I feel that it's just tearing away at my insides... I feel like my heart is in a vice... Urgh. Forgive me for bothering you with my thoughts but it's not like anyone else on this ship would understand, nor would they want to hear about how I'm feeling, really... I wish that I had Jess and Eric and Rose here. They'd make me feel better and they always have something encouraging to say. I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut because there's so little that I can do about everything except sit it out, but I'm so over being in pain like this and I'm very ready to start figuring things out. I can't though, until I get home. Well anyway, Caitlin and I are fortunately on friendly terms again, which is a relief... I still feel really bad about what I said to her and I don't think she'll ever be able to forget it... Perhaps forgive, but not forget. I'm sick of constantly hurting people... It hurts me more than it hurts them to cause them pain, but a fact of life is that people will hurt you and you will hurt them, and I know this, and yet, it is the worst feeling in the entire world to have broken someone's heart, and when you said something nasty to a friend, and knowing that you have damaged that relationship with that person quite possibly forever. Why is it that mistakes are so unforgivable in this world? Why is it that there is so little room to be a human being—imperfect—and yet that's exactly what we all are? I'm so fed up with it. Why can't I just be accepted for who I am? Well, I'm going to go now. I truly do love you all, thanks for reading my ramblings and complaints... I guess I'll get over it eventually.

Michelle

Oh, P.S.: this particular leg of the journey (from Japan to Hawaii and from Hawaii to Costa Rica) has been blessed with very calm waters... Today, the water is so smooth that it almost looks like glass. I've never seen it this calm, and for so long, too! I can walk down the halls in a straight line. It's a nice change.

Less Than Two More Weeks, Woo!!!

April 21, 2008: Second Post...

I just read my emails and Mom sent me this, from Gretchen Fifer, an alumnus and I believe a former SAS professor, with whom my mom has kept in touch, and with whom I have had personal correspondence. She knows what she's talking about, and it would mean the world to me if all of you read this, however unwilling you may be—it's important to me.

"You're going home. No you're not. At least...not to the home that you left in January. When you get off the ship in Miami, you are going to know that. You already know it in your head, but when you get off the ship in Miami, you are going to know it in your bones. You are going to feel it in your skin. The world that you left behind isn't there any more.

There's a story that I like to tell my students about a fish in a fishbowl. There is a way in which a fish swimming around in a fishbowl knows nothing at all about water...because water is so much a part of the fish's life. It is surrounded by water...it is embedded in water. In that sense, the fish does not really KNOW water. If you want the fish to really understand water,
you have to take the fish out of the fishbowl and say, "Look, that's water". Now if you put the fish back in...the water doesn't look the same any more. Well, in a certain sense, we've all been taken out of our fishbowls. You've been out of your fishbowl for three and a half months. Now you have to go back.

It may not happen to you immediately. Caught up in the excitement of seeing your friends and your relatives...it may take a day. Maybe a week. But sooner or later there is going to be a moment. It might happen to you at the airport. It might happen to you in your hotel room. Maybe not until you get home. But sooner or later there is going to be a moment when you realize that the world just doesn't "fit" the way it fit before.

Many of your friends...even your good friends...are going to seem suddenly...strangely...stupid. You will want to talk about...India. And they will say, "Yeah, right. That sounds great". And somehow, that is just not going to be enough. And you'll say, "Yes, but I was in Chennai...let me tell you... the smells...the colors...and the babies... Let me tell you about the
babies!". And your friends will say, "Uh huh." And you will watch their eyes glaze over as they smile and nod and glance over your shoulder. So you will try Japan. "You know, I was in Japan! I was in Japan right after the September 11, 2001, tragedy, and people comforted me, after we had bombed them years before. Can you believe that? I was in Japan!" And your friends will say, "Oh".

And then your friends will suddenly get enthusiastic again as they begin to tell you all the things you missed while you were away. Like that big party...where everybody threw up on each other. And that really funny episode of Ally McBeal. And they will start telling you some of the lines...and laughing as they are telling them to you. And you will be crawling out of your skin.

And you will say, "But I saw beggars! I saw children begging! Did know that parents sometimes actually maim their kids to make them better beggars?". And your friends will say, "Awesome". And you will know that they don't get it. In fact, you might even begin to wonder if some of your friends really know what it means for something to be...awesome. Seeing a sunset while walking along a beach in the Schylles Islands... that's awesome. Watching the ship crash through the great waves and have splashes of white and blue...that's awesome. Seeing the Great Wall zigzag off across the mountains
into the mist...that's awesome. That big party you missed... isn't.

And you are going to hear yourself sounding pretentious. You won't FEEL pretentious, but you are going to hear yourself SOUNDING pretentious. You know, here on the ship, if you are sitting around with one of your friends or your roommate and you start a sentence like, "One night in Ho Chi Minh I was taking a cyclo back from the War Atrocities Museum....". That doesn't sound odd...here. But can't you just see your friends back home rolling their eyes? You are going to have to choose between sounding pretentious...and being silent. An you are going to long to be back here with us...where you can be normal.

And maybe you have a relationship back there. An important one. One that seemed really comfortable and promising...back in September. Oh boy! All those letters you wrote? Or didn't write? Some of them maybe feeling a little forced as you wrote them? That relationship might not feel right any more. Like an old pair of jeans that's all broken in, but out of style. And you think, "I just can't wear this any more."

Many of you have become independent on this voyage. Much more genuinely concerned about the world. About other people. Stronger. Braver. BETTER than you were in September. And the life that you had planned for yourself may not be big enough any more. You might be thinking about changing directions. A new major. A new career. Maybe even a new country. Who are you going to talk to? How are they going to understand?

There are a thousand litle ways that the world is just not going to fit any more. And a thousand little reminders that it doesn't fit. WORDS are not going to seem the same. You will hear the word, "Havana City". Havana City is a place now...it's no longer just a word. Vancouver. It all comes back. It's not just a word. How could you posibly have imagined, back in September, that you would spend the rest of your life smiling whenever you heard the phrase, "plate tectonics"? The world is never going to be the same again.

So what do you do? Well, I think one of the things that you have to do is to forgive your friends. Looking at your pictures...listening to your stories...is not the same as having been there. You know that. You've looked at people's vacation pictures before. You know that pictures can't capture the experience. They are going to be looking at it and listening to it...you've lived it. It has changed you ...it hasn't changed them. So you have to be a little patient with them. You have to be a little forgiving if they don't quite get it.

But I think that you can only do that if they are willing to let you be the person you have become. It is not the places you have been to...and it is not the things that you have done that have to be shared. It is who you have become that has to be shared. You don't have to find people who have been around the world to understand you, but you have to find people to understand you. And if your old friends won't let you be the person you have become...get rid of them. Make new friends. There are plenty of people out there. And I'll give you a good suggestion. You know those foreign students on your campus? Those strange people with the accents? You see them wandering around confused and not knowing what building to go into. Been there. Done that. Go talk to them.


There are a lot of people out there who can confirm who you are ...and who you are becoming. Even if that is not clear to you now. In many ways, the person you will be six months from now is still brewing ...still developing right outside of consciousness. You don't know yet how much you have changed. And you won't know that for another six months or a year.

Other people who have been up here have suggested that you might want to try action. Find a cause...something that you believe in... and work for it. I agree with that. I think that's a good idea. But I am not worried about you. I don't think that you need to be urged to do that...you don't even need to be reminded to do that. I think you are going to HAVE to do that in order to feel at home. If the world does not fit any more, then you have to create a world for yourself that does fit...a place where you can feel at home.

I have been on this trip before...and gone home. So has Les... and Elaine...and Milt [academic deans]. We have all been taken out of our fishbowls and put back in again. And I think I can speak for all of them when I say ...come on in, the water's fine."

I wish all of the Spring 2008 Students luck as the reenter their fish bowls."

Thanks guys. Love you all lots, and I promise I will try to be patient with you all, and I hope that you all, in return, will be patient with me. Can't wait to see y'all again!!!

April 21, 2008: Day 88

Today was pretty good... I got up for breakfast, and considering the fact that I didn't fall asleep until probably 3 am, I went back to sleep, not getting up until about 12:45 to hurry up, get showered, and go to class, and I skipped lunch. Drawing was basically a repeat of last class—we drew landscape thumbnails again and then graduated to a full page of a landscape using the middle tone concept, which is our second ongoing homework assignment that's due in 5 days, along with our completed travel journal. I've really enjoyed spending so much time on the still life I've been working on, amazingly enough (being impatient as I am), and I think I like it so much because I'm kind of a perfectionist and I like making every detail just right... I anticipate a good grade on it. Anyway, I worked on that a lot today, and I tried watching some movies but they wouldn't work (darn you, Vietnam and your crappy DVDs!!! Good thing I only paid a dollar for each, but that's why they're crappy in the first place, lol...), so my favorite thing to do lately is wait for my laptop to go to sleep and it goes through all my photos, and I always get distracted from whatever else it is I am doing to watch them... I could sit for a long time looking at all my pictures like that, so I did that for a while, and then I went to dinner with Teneya, Catherine, and Andrea. I actually enjoy being a vegetarian on the ship because the vegetarian stuff is the only food worth eating: I had orzo with veggies, and some other cooked veggie dish, plus a roll... I'm amazed at how much butter I consume on the ship, but if I want the breads I eat to taste good, that's pretty much my only option. I bet my cholesterol is appalling right now because of it... ick. Anyway, we had some amazing coconut pudding tonight, which was grand... I can't wait for Coldstone's ice cream tomorrow, and I've found a Tex-Mex restaurant (I've been craving Mexican food literally this entire trip! I was so excited to have found a restaurant...), and I'm going to buy TONS of groceries to keep me going for the next two weeks on board the ship... Goodness. Can't wait. I've become obsessed with eating on this trip—I live to eat because the dining hall is only open certain hours and my only other option is the grill on the 7^th deck... At home, even if I went to college that had a meal plan, I wouldn't be so obsessed with it because I would have millions of other options... Shiplife is so unique. I'm realizing more and more how much I'm going to miss it when it's all over, but even so, I'm 100% ready to come home. After "logistural" (logistical and cultural combined lol) pre-port tonight, Avi, our videographer, played a sample of the voyage DVD, and it's going to be amazing... It's funny how I can look at my photos all day long and not feel much, but when I saw that video, it hit me really hard that I'd really been to all of those places and experienced it myself, and that it was almost over... What a crazy feeling. I cried a little bit, and I cannot wait to receive that DVD and my yearbook (I have at least two photos in the yearbook, by the way!!!! Eek!!!) in the mail in a few months! I can't wait to be in Hawaii tomorrow, even if it's just going to be for a day!!! Well, I need to make sure that I get plenty of sleep tonight (I took 2 Benadryl, and I think it's starting to work...) because I'm waking up at 6 am to watch the sunrise as we arrive in port, and I'll be going all day!!! Love to you all,

Michelle

April 22, 2008: Day 89—Hawaii.

After 12 hours of going literally all day and constantly doing something is one tiring feat. My legs ache so badly that I took an Advil. But, who cares? I had a super awesome time in Honolulu/Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii, for the day!!! I awoke at 6 am to get up on deck to watch the sunrise, but we were already in port, so it was hard to see when so many buildings were in the way. The sky was lit up with beautiful colors nonetheless. I called Mom and Dad and talked to them, then got cleared by customs, and then went to breakfast. I've noticed that I tend to stuff myself at breakfast on the ship because breakfast is the only meal I can rely on to provide lots of different options that I am guaranteed to want to eat, so I guess my logic is that if I eat well at breakfast, then maybe I'll be ok for the next two meals on the ship... lol. Such is not the case, of course. Anywho, I ran into my ship friends, wished them a good day, and embarked on my little adventure alone. I went to the post office first to buy stamps and send a package home, then had a blended chai tea frappuccino from Starbucks, which was amazing... I wanted to go to a local informal art show that they have every weekend and every Tuesday, but I knew I wouldn't make it in time, so since I was in the area, I walked a good distance to the grocery store and pretty much felt extremely happy because of the healthy food options that simply were not available in the other countries we have visited— it felt so, so good to be back home in the States, I cannot convey to you how much I felt at home, even though I live miles and miles away from Hawaii... The people I interacted with were all very personable, friendly, and helpful, often going the extra mile to wish me a good day. Wow. And I could communicate perfectly with everybody. Wow again. It. felt. so. good. Mom told me before I left for Semester at Sea that, when I would return after the trip, I will be even more grateful to be an American and to have the benefits and comforts of being an American, and I brushed off her observation, thinking that I would want to move to a lot of the countries we would visit and rarely look back, but I've found (as one often does), that Mom was right. It's so comfortable to be in America. But anyway, after I spent, very sadly, $100 on groceries, I got a cab back to the ship, dropped my stuff off, threw some items in the fridge, then turned right back around again to get out to Waikiki, in the hopes I would make it in time to get to the art show, but by the time I got there, it would have been over so I didn't even bother trying to get where it was. I went with a bunch of SASers in a taxi that I didn't know (I was invited along to help alleviate the cost of the taxi... we were all sick of waiting for the bus), who occupied the entire taxi ride (10-15 minutes) with a conversation that was entirely about alcohol. Oh, the joy of being an SASer... So, after we were dropped off in this super-fancy part of town at the Sheraton with Coach, Cartier, Tiffany & Co, and P. F. Chang's lining the street in fancy, brand-new buildings, I walked to the beach and took my time absorbing the interesting sites to see on one of the most famous beaches in the world: Waikiki Beach. Why it is one of the most famous beaches, I cannot for the life of me answer such a question... It's apparently not even a natural beach, too, which makes it worse... As one would expect a world-renown beach to be, it was crowded with high-rise hotels, tanned, half-naked bodies, and tons of colorful umbrellas. There are far more beautiful beaches on Maui. Anyway, I enjoyed watching the people, and took a few photos of the people surfing the 2-foot waves for a while, enjoying the sun, the smell of the sea (I LOVE that smell! Strangely enough, one doesn't often smell the sea while at sea on the ship... I seem to only be able to pick it up at the beach), the interesting people (lots of Japanese go there... it's so weird, considering the fact that Pearl Harbor is just around the corner, and Hawaii caters so much to them—I'm not saying it's bad or anything, just kind of weird...), and the balmy, warm air. It's always a pleasure to me to get out on my own not only because it's nice to get away from the people I see a million times a day, but ESPECIALLY because I can go at my own pace. I've found that I absolutely hate running around all over the place—I don't absorb what's going on around me, and because of that, I feel like I really missed an important part in a lot of these countries. So, I was able to just take everything in, which always makes me feel happy. I then went looking for the trashy souvenir shops that seemed to be nonexistent (which seemed impossible—I mean, it's Hawaii for goodness sake, of course there are going to be trashy souvenir shops!) on the fancy strip I was on, but one block away from the beach and bam! There were the souvenir shops, thank goodness. I had a bunch of stuff to buy people, so I'm glad that I was able to take care of that. Then, lo and behold, the one thing that I wanted most while in Hawaii (I can say this with my heart devoid of shame... this is how deprived I feel sometimes on the ship), A MEXICAN RESTAURANT!!! Oh my God! Scrap those plans with Kira and Caitlin to get lunch together because Caitlin doesn't like Mexican food and there's no way in Hell I'm leaving Hawaii without a good, old-fashioned Mexican meal!!! I noted its position later for when I felt hungry enough for lunch, and then walked along, found a market, and did some more shopping. I basically just wandered around, buying things, and most of my time was spent hunting down a tattoo parlor so I could buy a different nose stud (I hate my stupid gold ball, it's just ugly). I finally found one, but it didn't open for another 15 minutes and I was really hungry! So, I ate lunch (I had cheese dip and chicken tacos, which wouldn't normally be that good and the food was overpriced, but oh man it was so good, you don't even know!), and then went to the tattoo parlor, where I bought myself a little nose stud with a small, clear rhinestone. It's super cute. After that, I headed for the beach, but got interrupted for about 30 minutes because this funny youngish Israeli guy selling super expensive Dead Sea spa products waylaid my journey, trying to sell me the products. This is only worth mentioning because I got to talk to him about what it's like in Israel, which was very interesting. I enjoyed that interaction, and after insisting several times that I don't have $150 to blow on a freakin mud mask, I finally weaseled my way out of his retail grasp and got to the beach, where I changed into my bathing suit in one of the fancy hotels, and as I was settling down to lie out for a while in the nice, warm sun, Brady, one of my ship friends, came up, who was hanging out in town alone, too. He suggested that we go in the water, which was awesome because not too many people my age seem to be interested in playing in the water when they go to the beach nowadays, and I absolutely love swimming, so it was a refreshing change. Brady actually reminds me a whole lot of Casey Jarvis—he's quite the gentleman, is studying Criminal Justice (didn't surprise me at all when I found out), and is generally really good-natured and agreeable. So, someone offered us their floats because they were leaving the next day, so we chilled in the ocean for a while. I had fun actually playing in the water for once (rather than tanning like every other unimaginative person on the ship who has lost their sense of childhood fun), and then dried off and watched a bunch of guys skim-surfing in the shallows. It was really neat, and I soon started taking pictures. I got some really cool ones that I'm really excited about. Brady left, and then Kelsey and her family (her little brother, one of the children of the ship, and her mom, and her dad, who is "The Voice" who gives the announcements everyday at 12 noon and 5:30 pm), chatted with Kelsey briefly, and then I changed back into my clothes and started heading back to the ship. As I was waiting at the bus stop to go back, I overheard this guy say that he wanted to go to Pier 1 to the bus driver, and noting that the Explorer is right next to it (Pier 2), I told him which bus he should take, and he sat down next to me and we talked for a while, but then he started getting really creepy (this guy was like 3 decades older than me, and a sailor... Does young woman alone mean anything to you considering this description?), so I pretended that I was going to look for other SASers to go back with me (that bus just wasn't coming), and went to a different bus stop. Finally, the bus came, and luckily that creepo wasn't on it, and got back to Honolulu at around 7:30. I had just enough time to grab some Subway for dinner and then got back on the ship. I wrote my postcards and got them in on time, so that was good. Then, Kira, Caitlin, and Kim (Tricia's ship bestie) came into our room and we all hung out for a while, exchanging stories, which was fun. I also ate a small tin of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. You're jealous. lol :-P I got some dark brown hair dye and I'm going to color it tomorrow—I'm super excited; my current hair color is so ambiguous that it's extremely unflattering on me. I'll be glad for the change, and I like my hair to be dark when it's this short, I have found. When it gets longer I'm definitely going back to blonde! Can't wait! Well, that's pretty much my day. It was awesome, and I'm so glad that we had that break from being at sea because I really needed it! Love to you all,

Michelle

April 26, 2008: Day 93

Is it really already day 93? That's so crazy... Not much has gone down in the past few days—just lots of class, sleeping in through Global Studies (although I did go one day) and until noon (but getting up at 8 for breakfast and then going back to bed), studying, drawing a WHOLE lot (I had to do a still life using middle, light, and dark tones using a dramatic light source, a landscape drawing using the same concepts, and I had to make sure that I had 4 drawings per port in my drawing journal—I had slacked off on the last one, and had to catch up, plus the still life took me 4 hours to do—the professor rightfully commented positively on it), eating, more sleep, I went through the whole Harry Potter movie series (with the exception of the 3^rd because it's ONLY in Vietnamese... grrr) in a few days, watched the Road to El Dorado, I've been catching up on the Global Studies readings (the final's in 2 days but it doesn't matter if I don't do well on it because they're dropping our lowest grade and I've got a C or B, so I should be fine), and that's pretty much it up until yesterday. Yesterday was the Ambassador's Ball, which includes dinner, karaoke, two simultaneous dances (one in the Union—rap and hip hop—and one in the faculty/staff lounge—"oldies" aka mostly 80s music), a dessert buffet, chocolate sculptures that you can't eat :-(, getting really dressed up, and having a good time. I signed up for dinner with Kira and Caitlin for the second seating at 8:00, so I got ready at 6 with the intention to go up to watch people do karaoke at 7, but after I was finished getting ready, I went over to Caitlin's to hang out until 7 pm rolled around. This led to an unfortunate set of events that I regret immensely and go as follows: Caitlin put on the cocktail dress that she was going to wear that she brought from home, and I really thought that she should wear the one she had made in Vietnam. It's really cute and classy and suits her well. Anyway, she put it on, and commented that she thought it looked kind of funny... Thinking I was being a good friend by telling her the truth, I over-emphatically told her that she shouldn't wear it—it fit her oddly. Of course, anybody would be grateful to be told—gently—that he or she didn't look good in something, but I unintentionally said it without any gentleness and tact whatsoever and wound up insulting and hurting her greatly. I'd really like to know what on earth compels me to say things like this sometime, because it certainly has happened before... All I know is that it happens before I even have time to think about it. My mouth just takes over, I guess, and causes me to say things I would not normally say, and pretty much never mean it in the way I wind up implying it to mean... So basically, I apologized but felt uncomfortable explaining myself when Kira was in the room, too (who told her to wear what she wanted and that she looked fine in the dress), so I left and went to my room and sat down on my bed staring out into space and feeling like a complete asshole for my actions, and I never made it to karaoke. I could have sat there for hours, I felt so bad, beating myself up as usual (mentally, that is), but Tricia came in and was very kind to me... I finally got up the courage to seek Caitlin out in private to apologize properly... I called her room but neither of them were there, apparently, and I heard them laughing down the hallway, so I just waited for them to come back from wherever they'd gone to... They stopped by my room to pick me up for dinner and I asked that I speak to Caitlin alone. I apologized, and she told me that she was very hurt by my comment, and that not even her sisters—who have no problem with being honest—would apparently not be as cruelly assertive as I was... I basically didn't want to go out for the rest of the evening, partly because of that, and partly because I felt like a fool in my dress and really wasn't in the mood for prancing around in it... Caitlin said it was ok, and that we'd have fun... So whatever, I went to dinner with them. We wound up in Tymitz Square and took pictures together (all three of us: Kira, me, and Caitlin), and ran into Tricia, so she and I took some pictures together. We then made it to dinner, picked up our champagne for the toast, and sat down at table 69—the table we'd signed up for. Luckily for us (*cough* sarcasm), our three other tablemates whom we didn't know were already drunk, as was the rest of the dining hall... One of the girls had to be put to bed by the other two and wound up missing dinner... The girl next to me was nice and loquacious but kept talking to me with her mouth full and I got sprayed with food on a couple of occasions, which was rather unpleasant. The dinner itself was quite yummy, though, and I'm looking forward to having another fancy dinner with Caitlin, Kira, Teneya, Catherine, and some other girls (can't remember who) tomorrow night. We took a table picture together, and afterwards, Caitlin was talking to I think Dean Kenn Gaither when some jerk (who was already quite drunk) came by and chugged her wine, and then proceeded to go to the Captain's Table for goodness' sake to steal Kenn Gaither's wine... Caitlin returned not long after that and we told her what happened and pointed out the guy who did it, who then gave her half of his (aka Kenn Gaither's) wine to "make up" for it... Kenn came over right after that and asked the guy if he took his wine (his table had told him that the kid did it), to which the wine stealer said no. Kenn got really mad and told the kid to look him in the eyes and say that he didn't do it, and the wine stealer did it without blinking... Kenn got even more annoyed and told the kid it was on his honor... Everyone was really annoyed with this rude kid and kept trying to get him to admit to his crime, but we finally left because Caitlin was really annoyed and just wanted to leave. After that, we went up to the faculty/staff lounge to catch the last hour of the dance, but I wanted to grab some desserts, so I said I'd meet them up there. I grabbed enough for all three of us and went up there, then down to the Union, then back up again (wash, rinse, repeat...) because I couldn't find them. I finally saw them coming from I guess Pub Night on the same deck but aft (thanks for waiting for me guys...), and we danced in the faculty/staff lounge, which was lots of fun. Brady, Teneya, Andrew, Caitlin, Kira, Julie, Caitlin's ship Mom Courtney and ship family members, and some others of us all danced together to some oldies. It was fun. They played a half hour more of music for everybody (we kept yelling for more lol), and then I went to my room and went to bed. The latter part of today was kind of miserable... I slept until noon as usual, went to the last drawing class, and went back to my room to read some Global Studies stuff... I wound up taking a nap because I felt super tired, and then got up to go to dinner. Every single one of my meals lately has been spent entirely alone, with the exception of B day lunches because I have an ongoing lunch date on those days with Brittany... I tried to get a hold of Teneya, then Caitlin, but neither were in their rooms, so I tried Brittany, who was not there either... This particular time, I really didn't want to go to dinner alone, for once, so it really sucked knowing that I'd have to go and sit alone, yet again... Tricia always invites me to dinner with her and Kim, but I don't know if I'm ready to take her up on it yet—I'm prideful in that respect because I don't normally hang out with Tricia and Kim unless it's in my room and I don't want to break up the duo and be a tagalong... Anyway, on the way there, I ran into Caitlin and Kira, the former who clearly felt uncomfortable running into me and wouldn't say anything directly to me and wouldn't look me in the eye very often... So, I talked with Kira instead, who was personable as usual, and who invited me to come to game night, but not being much for most board games, I declined, and asked if they were going to dinner. Neither were, so I wound up going alone as formerly planned. I got myself a spot outside and waited in line, where I saw Teneya... Teneya has not been seeking me out at all lately (since before Japan, basically) for who knows what reason—I guess she just doesn't want to be friends with either me or Caitlin (she hasn't been hanging out with her either), so whatever... Anyway, I talked with her and whatnot, and I had hoped that she would invite me to sit with her for dinner because it was quite clear that I was alone, and she just left at the end of our conversation to sit at her table with her other friends... That was depressing. I felt so god-awful alone. Two of my most treasured ship friends now no longer like me. Fantastic. So, after getting my food, I went outside to sit at the table I had put my stuff on to reserve it, but some other people were sitting there... So, I grabbed my stuff and found another table. It was pretty annoying. I quickly ate the god-awful food and then went back to my room, where I called Jess and talked with her for 35 minutes (sorry Mom and Dad—I hope you guys understand), and she cheered me up big time. I feel 100% better about things now, and I think that I can face the next two weeks on the ship with enough cheerfulness to get me by. It's amazing what friends can do. I love you Jess!!! I can't wait to see her again, and the rest of my friends, and my family—the people who love me no matter what. I end this blog entry with a quote by the amazing Jessica Rae Griffin I: "Living is necessary for life." I couldn't have said it better, Jess. Much love to you all—less than two weeks until I see my family, and about 16 days until I'm home again!!!! :-D

Love,

Michelle

Yay Hawaii Soon!

April 17, 2008: Day 84

Wow. Day 84... Three more weeks until I see my family and friends again, and my home and own room again... To be frank, I look forward to it. Less than a week, too, until we get to Hawaii. I can't wait for that to roll around as well. Anyway, my day yesterday went well... After having called lots of people and talked to them (happiness!), I watched Spiderman I, which I bought in Vietnam. I'd forgotten how much I absolutely love that movie... I grew up watching the Batman movies, and the occasional Superman movie, but Spiderman has always—by far—been my favorite superhero, and it's also easily the best superhero movie series. I absolutely love superhero movies. Anyway, after feeling sooo good after seeing that movie (this is about 12 am or so), I felt so wide awake and happy that I watched the second Spiderman movie, not going to bed until 2 am, and I couldn't fall asleep until about an hour later... I guess it's because I had slept in until noon that day, but I think I was so caught up in my thoughts and excitement, making it hard for me to feel sleepy. Anyway, I've decided that I really, really want to read some of the Spiderman comic books. I don't know about all of them... that'd probably take a year? But I would really enjoy a few of them, I am sure. So, after last night, I got up for breakfast, went back to bed, and didn't wake up until noon again... It is really nice to get so much sleep—I think that long haul through Asia really wore a lot of us out. It's quite fortunate that we get to have all day off tomorrow. I'm going to try packing up most of my things I don't need right now to determine if I need to buy another bag in Hawaii, and I'm going to start on my papers that are both due on May 2, as well as work out (if there are any spots open—people fill the sign-up sheet like you wouldn't believe, but usually if you go and wait 5 minutes, people don't show up anyway, which is nice)... I've decided that I want to do kickboxing when I get home, and do Weight Watchers. I feel like I look and I feel comfortable in my own skin, but I don't like actually seeing myself. I could be much healthier, and I think it's time that I take my health seriously. Once the summer is over, I'll be living on campus and can easily go to the Hip Hop Aerobics class that's at 10:00 at night, and they also offer kickboxing (hopefully it won't conflict with my schedule). Anyway, I went to Transcendentalism and we did something different: the class was split in two and ordered to take a side: my side was that eternal happiness and peace, and renouncing all desires (and therefore pain and suffering), is not humanly possible, and the other side of the room took the other argument. I believe in the side that we were given and presented our arguments to the class. It was a really cool discussion. Then, I put the finishing touches on my paper for Art and Architecture, then went to that class, which was droll as always, but that's ok: we learned about romantic and gothic architecture. After that, I went to dinner with Teneya and everybody else, and then went back to my room to enjoy the third Spiderman movie—I'd been looking forward to it all day. Spidermans 1 & 2 are my new favorite movies. Then, just as I'd started it, Caitlin and Teneya grabbed me to go up to the live auction that was being held tonight to raise money for charity. I swear, we must have raised several thousand dollars... one guy paid $500 for the captain's hat, another paid $400 for a popcorn and soda party in Dean Kenn's room (ridiculous!!!)... A lot of people dished out some serious money for often ridiculous things. But, it's for a good cause, so that's cool. I only stayed until intermission, at which point my stomach was feeling icky from the rocking and the hot chocolate I'd just had... Urgh. Then, I finally watched the rest of the Spiderman movie. I really enjoyed it, but it does make me feel uncomfortable for Peter Parker, the main character, when he goes kind of crazy and dances ridiculously in the street lol... It's definitely an awkward movie, and often sad. I don't like it as much as the first two, but I reeeeally want them to make another one! I guess they're not going to, though, because the cast didn't want to do any more. Sadness. But enough about Spiderman... After that, I worked out for 30 minutes at a high resistance, and it felt good knowing that it will possibly bring about a better-looking me (even though I don't gain or lose weight at all, it seems, no matter what I do—good or bad). Oh!!! One more thing: my professor of Transcendentalism, I have finally figured out, sounds a whole lot like the comic book guy on Simpsons, but a million times more intelligent. He has that strange nasal quality to his voice. It's funny :-P

Well, that's pretty much it. Love you guys!

Michelle

April 18, 2008: Day 85

"My heart won't stay entirely in this ribcage... so come on take it, come on take it, take it from me..." –The Weepies

Perhaps in a moment I will tell you what I did today, but right now, that doesn't matter. Right now, I want to know something. I want to know if you guys will care what I did, what I saw, and what I experienced. And don't feel surprised or hurt that I'm asking this, because it's a perfectly legitimate question, and I need to know the answer. All this time I was convinced that you guys would, 100%, care about everything I will want to share with you, but today I stopped being naive. I realize that your reaction won't be much different from everyone else's friends and family who have done this in the past... I realize that after a while, you guys really won't care, and you won't understand, either. After a while, you will roll your eyes when I want to share a story, and change the subject. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." –Dr. Seuss, the quote of the day today... how perfectly said. Anyway, should you react to my reminiscing in such a manner, it will really hurt me. I need you guys to know, to really know, that I want nothing more than to share this experience with you all, and it would mean so much to me if you would sit and look at my pictures with me, or watch my home videos (yes, I do have 8 hours of video, and it would be so unbelievably awesome if you guys would watch it all with me—I plan on doing it one day when I get home—but I'm not going to be so silly as to expect you guys to watch all of it with me...) with me, and hear the stories that I have to tell without telling me you don't have time, or you don't feel well, or some other sad excuse like that. This means so much to me and it should mean a lot to you, too, because doesn't that show you how special I think you are if I want to share it with you? 24 hours ago I was really looking forward to going home, and I still am, but I am no longer fooled that it will be all happiness and good times. It's going to be rough—very rough—to work out the issues I have created when I get home, and it's going to be tough to know that life went on without me at home... It's hard to know that Rose knows Alex better than I do now. It's hard to feel like things won't be back to normal when I get home—something I want so much. It's also weird to know that something could soon change my family's life, just before my arrival back home. All this change, and I want nothing more than for everything to be exactly as it was, when I left home. I don't mean, of course, that I don't enjoy the changes that I have gone through. It's just hard, like I'd said, to know that life went on without me. As for me, though, I wonder if you guys will readily accept me as I am now. For one thing, I look dramatically different—my hair's a different color, only two inches long now, and I've been spiking it lately (to look like organized chaos/bedhair, and I like it—it' something different, and a lot less boring than not styling it at all, and as I'm not really into the fauxhawk hairstyle—it's not my thing—I feel like this suits me better, but it still makes me look less Michelle-like)... I really like it, though. I'm a different person, so I guess it makes sense that I should look different, too. I've also got my nose pierced... I hope it won't be hard to find a job because of my appearance. But whatever—I'm happy with the way I look and I guess that's all that matters. I think it'll just be funny to see everyone's reactions when I get home ;-) Forgive me for being so critical, but I'm starting to realize that the best part of this voyage is over, and that I really am going to miss it all much more than I had thought. You guys will just have to bear with me when I get home, I guess. It's scary to know that a big change is happening in my life soon again—coming home. I just want you guys to know that I still think of each and every one of you every single day still, and I still love you all as much as ever, and will be so, so grateful to see you all again. I just hope that you will be as grateful and happy as I will be. In some ways I'm still the same old me—still a chapstick addict, still love to hug and laugh, and I still love to photograph. I haven't figured out how I'm different yet—I just know that I am, a little bit. Be ready for me to bake up a storm, and want to have lots of parties/sleepovers and want to go out dancing, and want to drive just so I can sing... Anyway, I'm out of that funk now and I just can't worry about the future—it's out of my control and worrying about it isn't going to do anything. I watched 13 Going On 30 today, after having wanted to watch in for about 1 ½ months, and really enjoyed it. I think that the thing that really drew me to want to watch it is the dance scene to Michael Jackson's Thriller. It was so cute... I really want to learn that dance, it looks like a whole lot of fun, plus it's an awesome song. If there's one thing I've learned on this trip, it's that I need to live my life and do what I want to do: I love to dance, so what on earth is stopping me from doing it? Money? Psh, screw money. I don't need it anyway. I've got one life to live and if the only thing that's stopping me from doing the things I enjoy is money, then I've got it good! I think it will bother me to go home and be surrounded by people who don't realize that they could die tomorrow—who don't realize that money really doesn't matter. Of course, one needs to be careful about the way one spends and makes money, but it's nothing to obsess over—there's only so much caution one should employ with such things. So, to hell with denying myself the things that make me happy, like dancing, singing, learning, and having fun. It's time to live life to the fullest. Love to you all,

Michelle

April 19, 2008: Day 86

Day 86. One day closer to being back with the people who truly care about me... Slowly but surely, it has become apparent to me that my ship friends do not truly care for me. It is clear to me that this "friendship," if you can call it one, is merely temporary and convenient. I was never able to get close to these people because of a mutual desire to not become attached, and it makes me sad that it is the way that it is. I wish that I had my real friends on this voyage—I am convinced that this experience would have been tenfold more meaningful, because I would have shared it with people who care about me, and about whom I care very much. It's funny how I thought I would meet amazing people with whom I was like-minded—it takes a certain kind of person to go on a voyage around the world... seems easy, right?—but I was clearly wrong. I don't mean to say that I dislike my friends on the ship, so I'm sorry if it seems that way. I will simply be grateful to be appreciated for who I am again, because no one understands me on this ship—it is a lonely feeling. I'm sorry that I'm not interested in idle things like gossip and fashion magazines... I want to go home and have conversations with serious substance with my friends and family. But that time will come soon, and believe me, I'm making the best of what I have. It's just not really what I had in mind. I'm trying to continue to enjoy my experience on board the MV Explorer, but I must admit, it won't be too hard to say goodbye. The tears that I will shed will be tears of happiness upon seeing my family again—not tears of melancholy at the end of an adventure. I think I'll feel sad about the end of it later, but right now I am frustrated with the treatment I have been receiving from my ship friends, and being regarded with so little interest. Anyway, I did not mention that yesterday the gay-lesbian-transgender alliance-group thing had an awareness day and hosted a very delicious barbeque on the 7^th deck for lunch—I thought it was really great that they were given a day to raise awareness and to feel a little appreciated for once. I donated a little money to the gay and lesbian international fund and got a little sign to wear on my shirt—I had it say, "I support gay (same sex) marriage." Before that, I had worked out a little bit and I felt soo good, so I really had a nice day yesterday, with the exception of my lapse into melancholy, of course. I tried to go to bed around 1 but couldn't fall asleep for hours... I had thoughts buzzing around in my head endlessly. I took a Benadryl tonight to put an end to my strange new sleeping habits (we're losing yet another hour tonight... urgh) and go to bed early, but it's already 1 am and I have to get up at 8. Anyway, today was a bum day again... I woke up for breakfast (the only meal truly worth going to on this ship), went back to bed, slept through Global yet again, as well as my work out time, and barely dragged myself out of bed at 12:30 to get ready for my bridge tour and then drawing class. Both went well. Then, I took a short nap and started the Harry Potter movie series. I'll probably watch #2 tomorrow... It's not like I have anything else to do. I'm going to be so god-awful bored on the way to Costa Rica if I go through all my movies before we get there. Honestly, if Costa Rica was before Hawaii, I would just leave in Hawaii to come home. I've had my fill of SAS... Anyway, I dragged myself to the mini-play tonight in the Union, called "When Shakespeare's Ladies Meet," and it was absolutely awful. I'm sorry to say this, but I was itching to leave 10 minutes in, and it was only 45 minutes long... The actors made the best of it, though, so I can give it that much. You guys, I miss you lots. Please bear with my negativity—I've had soooo much on my mind lately, and I really have been watching so many movies to drown my thoughts, only to have them resurface to slap me in the face even more intensely when they are finished. Le sigh. Well, that's all for tonight, y'all! Love and miss you ALL lots,

Michelle

April 21, 2008: Day 87? Don't remember...

So, today was nothing special... I got up for breakfast, which was good as usual (the only meal worth going to here on the ship), actually stayed up long enough to go to Global, which was decent (we have our final in a week—is this semester really almost over?), went to bed until noon, wrenched myself out of bed in just enough time to shower and go to lunch before Transcendentalism, after that I slept until my next class (art and architecture) for a little over an hour, went to class, then went to dinner (it was nasty... I am so glad I had a jar of peanut butter because I ate some with my apple, which was good). After that, I started my still life and chose my makeup as the subjects, and after working on it for an hour or so, I read the section on Japan in our Global Studies book, after which I started watching Harry Potter 2... In the middle of it, (10 pm), snack time started and I was hungry so I went and got something, finished the movie, and then got ready for bed, making sure to take a benadryl, knowing I would have a hard time falling asleep, as I have been wont to do lately... So, naturally, I can't fall asleep thanks to so many thoughts flapping around in my head, and the Benadryl has had no effect on me. Thus, at 1 am, I am hanging out on the internet, hoping to become tired soon. I can't wait for Hawaii—only one more day, thank goodness! Much love to you all,

Michelle

A New Post-- Finally!!!

Before I forget: I have taken 14,000 + photos since I got my laptop in November... I severely underestimated how many photos I would be taking on this trip, and it's not even over yet!!! Love you all!!!!

"I hate waiting; especially international waiting..." –Teneya

"I can't wait to go back to China to see the Berlin Wall..." –Teneya, in one of her moments of heightened brilliance :-P

March 26, 2008: Day 63

Wow. Day 63?? This trip has gone by so quickly, and yet it feels like it has been an eternity... So many things have changed. I feel like the things I am doing are incredible, but sometimes I feel like I'm imprisoned on this ship. I still feel like I am in a dream from which I am unable to awaken—when will this feeling of not being entirely here end? I don't understand why I feel that way in the first place. Because of it, I feel like I'm not absorbing everything. Perhaps it will all hit me when I get home—I just hope it hits me at all. Anyway, I am very tired, so this update will be pretty short (at least in terms of how long my entries usually are)... Yesterday I watched two movies: my first Bollywood film (Gangster: a Love Story) and I watched, for the second time, Finding Neverland, which, again, made me cry; the ending is so touching. We had cultural pre-port for Vietnam, and it sounds like I'm going to have to be constantly on my guard against pickpockets and against offending someone and risking being jailed for minor offences or something. I sincerely hope that I will not offend someone... Apparently, in order to decline something, you have to say the Vietnamese equivalent of "yes-no," because "yes" is an indication of politeness, whether or not you are actually affirming something. I know I'm going to wind up saying "no" at some point, and I hope that they will not be too offended by my mistake... Anyway, they're all about politeness there, and I hope that I know enough about the culture to be aware of avoiding offending someone. Our interport student, whose name is Van, is such a sweet, funny young lady... She gave us useful information about internet cafes and where to go to get a dress made—something I plan on doing. Tomorrow, me, Caitlin, and the other ladies are going together to the tailor's, and then we're going to get $20 one-hour massages and $2 pedicures and manicures. Jealous? lol... Anyway, today I didn't do much... went to Global, it was pointless (nothing new in that statement)... called a special someone and all means of communication were blown for the rest of the day in the middle of conversing—typical. I'm so sick of not being able to communicate properly. It's literally starting to fray my nerves, and one of the most welcome comforts once I get home will be being able to abuse the internet as much as I so desire (expect me to be at the computer a lot for a couple days... no joke). I will be uploading photos on Facebook like a fiend, lol... anyway, back to my day—I sat around until I got ready for class and went to lunch with Brittany as usual—today was the first day in a while where all I could possibly bring myself to eat were carbohydrates—meat loaf for lunch? No thanks... The oranges were so good, though... I want to eat a whole container of raspberries when I get back—I miss berries so much! Then, I went to Transcendentalism, where Professor Edmundson told us for literally half the class about his hippie school teaching days at Woodstock College in Vermont (of course it's called "Woodstock" college...) where the two main things there were: nakedness (in both aspects of: having no clothes on, as well as being open and honest) and "juice" (meaning, love and encouragement that's given to everybody)... lol. It was a funny story. It didn't have much to do with Whitman's Leaves of Grass, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I love that class so much because half of what we do is tell stories (about what we did in port, life stories, etc) because they tie in so conveniently to the philosophies we've been studying. Ok, so maybe I felt like writing a lot this time... My ears have started to hurt, which is very unfortunate, as we will be in Vietnam tomorrow... urgh. And I can't seem to find a chiropractor anywhere (except there is apparently a licensed chiropractor who is family on the ship, but she's back in the States right now and won't be back until who knows when... go figure), and my back has been spasming on and off since Malaysia. I didn't realize how much I depended on chiropractors, but apparently that's kind of necessary. I guess it makes sense when one considers the loads I carry on my back sometimes... but I also think I inherited Mom's bad back :-P anyway, I went to art and architecture, where we learned about Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and we got let out early. I love this lady because she keeps cancelling our scheduled quizzes because "we're all too busy for that kind of thing." We just have to write 3-4 pages every once in a while—easy. After that, I went with Caitlin and the ladies to dinner, where we had some Vietnamese dishes that were delicious. After that, me, Caitlin, and Rachel went up to the 7^th deck to grab some peanut M&Ms (I never took much interest in them until this trip—I will forever be faithful to Twix, my favorite candy, but peanut M&Ms are pretty darn yummy) and look at the stars and talk. We moved to 7^th deck forward, where we got accosted by the wind but it was enjoyable nonetheless, because so few people are up there, if at all, so it's nice to get away from everybody. We then went to logistical (aka mandatory) pre-port, which was hilarious as always (Kenn: "This is not Semester about Me, this is Semester at Sea..."), and now here I am, typing up the story of my life... Ok, I have to wake up at 4:30 am to watch us go up the Saigon River, where apparently we will see lots of little boats and local activity, so it'll be worth it. It's bed time. Love to you all (I miss you guys so much... you don't even know how many hugs you're going to get when we see each other again!)... Oh, and may I say that every time I hear Michael Jackson (they always manage to play it at every gathering in the Union before and after the events going on there...), I get a pang in my heart...

Michelle

March 31, 2008: Day 67 (eek!)

Today is our last day in Vietnam... So, Vietnam was quite amazing (not one of my favorites, though, like it seems to have become for a lot of people I've talked to—my favorites are India and South Africa so far). Let's see... first day there: I went with Teneya, Catherine, Kira, Heike, and Caitlin out first thing to go get our dresses made at a tailor—that took several hours because it was really hard to communicate and find a good price. I got an orange dress made for Nicole, and a long formal plum-colored dress for me. I gave them pictures of what I wanted. We then went to Pho 2000 for lunch to have our first taste of pho, which is a noodley soup that one should absolutely have whilst in Vietnam (I didn't think it was so great to make a big fuss over it, but it was still enjoyable nonetheless). The whole day I was feeling awful and terribly drowsy because I had gotten up early to watch the sunrise as we entered Vietnam (I sadly came to realize quite quickly that trying to see a sunrise in Ho Chi Minh City area is completely pointless because the pollution is so bad that you can't see the sky EVER), and it felt like I'd been drugged I was so tired. Poor Kira was really drowsy, too, because she'd had minor surgery the night before on an infected bugbite, and I think she was still feeling unwell from that. We then went to the Ben Thanh market, which is hot, stuffy, and is in very tight quarters, but has TONS of awesome stuff! That was really enjoyable and I bought tons of beautiful lacquerware. Then, Kira and I got separated from everyone else and we were sooo tired that we went back to the ship—in this port, because we were so far from downtown, SAS provided shuttles for us to get in and out of the city (which is super nice), but Kira and I were just way too tired to try to find the bus stop so we took a cyclo back to the ship, which is a bicycle with a reclining chair on wheels in the front, basically, and the biker goes at about 10 mph in 40 mph + traffic. It took almost an hour to get back because we were so far away, and as you can imagine, it was expensive (the guy told me the wrong amount like a jerk and then made me pay more when I got there... from then on I always use my calculator to confirm the number so there isn't a miscommunication—that calculator is one of the most valuable possessions I have, and keep it on me at all times), and he dropped me off at the wrong spot—it was within view of the ship, but you have to go several miles around to actually get to it from that point. I didn't know this and tried to walk to it (he dropped me off at the security checkpoint because he's not allowed to go any further) when it was dark out with almost nobody around—it was really sketchy. I didn't feel nervous, though, but kept on my guard... After a while of walking around to no avail, I found a security guard and begged him to take me on his motorbike to the ship, but he couldn't, so he called a cab for me, and I finally made it (and not in time for dinner on the ship, sadly, so I had to eat one of the cup of ramen noodle things I bought in Malaysia—I felt so miserable after that crazy ordeal)... After that, I went to bed, and then woke up at 4:00 am by the Field desk, calling to let me know that my Nha Trang trip was leaving in 5 minutes—eek!!! My alarm didn't go off... So, I had to literally change and rush up there in time (go figure—we didn't leave until 20 minutes later), and we had a 40 minute flight to Nha Trang and got picked up by our tour guide, Xoa (pronounced "wah"), who is by far the funniest and most amazing tour guide I've ever had (by the way, SAS trips always include a tour guide, which I think is absolutely ridiculous—for example, we'll have one for a 45 minute drive to the airport for goodness sake...)... His pronunciation of words was really funny sometimes—he'd say "eaxt" and "wext" for east and west... He also would joke around with one guy, Mark, and call him his sweetheart, and tell him that he wanted/needed/loved him and crazy stuff like that. He was such a crazy old man. Anyway, Nha Trang is absolutely gorgeous—it's a beach town. It's unfortunate, though, that it is highly commercialized... After visiting Long Son Pagoda to see the 16 meter high pure white Buddha (soooooo cool!!!) and a Hindu temple dedicated to Shiva, we went to the central market, which was mediocre (with the exception of the snake liquor I saw—it's basically a bottle with I think whiskey in it, plus a whole snake, or gecko, or what-have-you... Any creature that's small and nasty enough to put inside one of the bottles... I really wanted to buy some just because it's so gross, but they wouldn't have let me bring it on the ship because it's alcohol—oh well)... After that, I went with a handful of people to the mud bath and mineral water spa place that's nearby and enjoyed a $5 massage, a steam bath soak, then a mud bath in what looks like a hot tub that they fill with a new batch of mud for each party that sits in it (we got one for 6, which is how many of us there were), and it was so awesome. I found that you can float very easily in it and had lots of fun bouncing around in it after everyone else got out. Then, we rinsed off and went to the hot mineral pool, which was sooo relaxing. It was a very enjoyable experience. After that, we had a cultural evening which consisted of lots of seafood and some really cool live music that was so lovely to listen to. I dislike having to eat cephalopods like squid and octopus, and go figure, we got served that a lot, along with my all-time least favorite seafood, fish. Ick. So, that's essentially the only thing that I really, really didn't like about the trip. That's fine though! :-) That night, I got to have the room all to myself because I didn't have a roommate (yet), which was very nice—I haven't had a room all to myself in months! We woke up early that morning to go out on a boat to go to the Oceanographic Institute, which was basically an aquarium (that neglected to provide enough living space for those poor marine creatures...) and I got to touch a sea turtle (my once favorite animal... I now have no favorite animal because I love them all!), which was awesome. It nearly nipped my toes off because it thought that they were lunch :-P... Then, we drove over to an island on the boat to go snorkeling, which was a bomb because the masks they provided hurt my face so terribly that I sadly had to resort to reading Pride and Prejudice (that part wasn't so sad... I' m really enjoying reading that book!!!), rather than snorkeling, which I love to do and can't always do (and I can read any time I want to). Oh well. We then went to another island's beach, which was absolutely idyllic, and had lunch, which was gross and seafoody again... Then, we went back to the hotel, where I took a nap and then went out on the beach to read some more after having a very amazing ice cream with tons of fresh tropical fruit in it (yummy!). After that, we had dinner out and Mark, Setira, and I walked around looking for a jazz club to enjoy, and wound up at a DVD store instead and bought a whole bunch of them for less than a dollar each (yeyah!). I forgot to mention that the night before I went out on the beach with Jessie and Mark and we all talked about the amazing experiences we've had on SAS and whatnot. It was very enjoyable. After that, I went to bed in my smelly, moldy, hot room :-P Oh yeah, Xoa gave me a short ride to the restaurant on his motorbike, which was really fun. Next day, we flew back, and I had lunch with Mark and my Nha Trang roomie, NaKeesha (sp?), then took a nap, and then went out into HCM City on my own, but wound up hanging out with NaKeesha, where I looked into going to Mekong Delta that night on my own to get away and make myself go out on my own before the end of SAS. I really, really wanted to take a motorbike out there (2 ½ hour drive lol), but it was all just too expensive and last-minute, sadly. I went to Ben Thanh and spent some more money, and got some very nice chocolates for my homestay family in Japan (and got some for myself, too, of course!)... I also bought myself a beautiful, but simple, 100% silk black dress. It's sooo nice. I consider it a splurge on myself—and it was $30 lol. It's almost sickening how frugal I can be sometimes :-P... But, I figure that I have the money and I'm traveling around the world, so why not spoil myself sometimes? Anyway, that was great, and I came back expecting to go out with Kira and Caitlin, but they had already left, and I was going to go out on my own in my new silk dress and new super-beautiful ballet flats (hand-made and embroidered—they're so beautiful you guys!!!) and new shell necklace (it was an entirely Vietnamese outfit, and it felt so good to get all spiffed up!), but rather than going out on my own at night, I wisely decided that wasn't a good idea and invited Michael to come with me to get some dinner. We went to this "cajun" restaurant that was barely cajun at all, where I had beef fajitas (I thought it was hilarious because Michael's a vegetarian)... That was good (can't wait to have real Mexican food at home!!), and then we went back to the ship at about 11:30. Next day, I woke up at about 7:30 to go to breakfast on the ship with Kira and Caitlin, and then we high-tailed it to an internet cafe, where I skyped Mom, and it was sooo good to have a nice, long conversation with her. We then ran over to L'Apothecaire, the spa that Caitlin had a reservation at at 9:00 (we arrived at 9:30 on motorbikes—I LOVE those things!!!), and Kira and I signed up last-minute for facials, hot stone massages, and manicures and pedicures. I'm telling you guys, this was by far the. most. amazing. spa. EVER. I've never even seen a spa as nice as that one before, let alone get treated at one. Wow. The grounds were impeccable, as well as the service, products, and general decor. It all appealed to me so well, and I wish that we had one just like it at home, because I would go all the time. We spent 5 hours there—it was soooo nice. The hot stone massage was amazing and I felt like Jell-o afterwards, and then they gave me my facial and my skin looked superb afterwards, and then we all had our manicures and pedicures together in this very pleasant little room, sitting in very nice, hot pink lounging chairs. They had us shower and use the steam bath and sauna before beginning, which was very nice, and everything about it was just so incredible—including the price. For all of the things I did—tip included—it was $88, which is what the hot stone massage would have been alone at the very least back home in America (and the massage and facial were each about 70 minutes long)... I was so impressed. Man, I wish we had that back home!!! Anyway, I've decided that I really need to start getting facials about every 2-3 months because it really improved the appearance of my skin (it sadly didn't last long, though, because all the pollution and exhaust nastiness got sucked back onto my face after riding around more on the motorbikes... le sigh)... After that, we went to the tailor to pick up our dresses, which sadly didn't turn out exactly as we'd wanted (and still had to pay full price... urgh), and then went to the electronic district to look for some cheap external hard drives, but all of the ones that we found were even more expensive than they would have been in the US. Lame. After that, we went to Ben Thanh market one last time about an hour before it closed, where I bought a Vietnam shirt for myself (which will be worn with my Aladdin pants tomorrow :-D) and some various other things like that. I'm so glad that I was able to buy a North Face knockoff backpack, because I've been really needing some form (other than the one and only should bag I have with me) of carrying my stuff around with me, and I have already found it extremely useful (it was well worth the $5!)... We then went to a DVD store to buy some more cheap DVDs (yay!), and then bought more chocolate quickly before heading back to the ship on motorbikes. Enter my favorite and most funny Vietnam memory: our drivers were talking to us and started telling us something like 500,000 dong for something, and we assumed that they were talking about our ride to the ship, which was lame because we'd already agreed to $2 (about 32,000 dong) each to get there, so Caitlin and I were naturally very confused about why they had suddenly changed their minds and wanted us to pay this exorbitant fee to get to the ship... I was so convinced that they were trying to rip us off that I actually got off of the motorbike when we had stopped until Caitlin and I were asked by them, "Do you smoke?" and Caitlin was like, "Oh my God, Michelle, I think that they want to sell us marijuana!"... it had sounded like they were saying something that started with "m," and Caitlin and I thought it was soooo hilarious!!! I kept laughing about it the whole way to the ship because it was so ridiculous and sketchy. Ok, I'm really tired, but before I close this entry, I would like to note a little more about Vietnam: some of the products are decently affordable, but I have found that whenever people rave about how cheap the stuff's going to be in a country, it is never super cheap enough to be satisfactory to me (meaning that the stuff isn't all that much more cheap than it would be in the US); whole families will ride together on those little bitty motorbikes, which is terribly dangerous; you often see babies riding in their mother's arms in the motorbikes, which is again very dangerous (no car seat!), and I once saw a mom with a sleeping baby in one arm and she was driving the motorbike/moped with the other arm! Also, walking across the street is basically a toss-up... you have to walk across in the middle of traffic (quite thrilling), and sometimes you get sandwiched between two lanes of traffic, but it's not nearly as bad as it might seem because 1. the traffic is going relatively slow (slow enough to see you in time) because there is ALWAYS toooooonnnnns of traffic and 2. it's mostly motorbikes, which are more agile and quick at getting out of the way... Merging is a crazy business there and nobody looks, and everything just keeps on moving. You don't stop when you want to turn right, you just keep going and merging into traffic is incredibly successful that way (because everyone's on motorbikes). It was very interesting to see. Plus, it's been very disorienting because the Vietnamese drive on the right-hand side (haven't seen that in forever) and I keep finding myself wondering why we're driving on the wrong side! I might be a little confused when I first start driving again when I get back home... goodness. Well, I'm super tired. Much love to you all.

April 9, 2008: Day 70-something: China

I'm finding it harder and harder to stir up the desire in myself to write in this thing, but I know I would regret it later if I didn't. So, here goes...

Before I get to the part about China, I would first like to talk about today. I intended to "dance with the ellipticals," shall we say (working out is just too harsh a phrase and makes me now want to do it :-P), but when I realized that I lacked the clean clothes to do so, I decided to sleep in and not go to Global Studies. I heard it was pretty good, but oh well... I needed to sleep in, apparently, because I slept in until 11-ish. I finally dragged myself out of bed, showered, and attempted to update my drawing journal (so many journals of mine have to be updated!!! Urgh!), but then Teneya saw me and invited me to lunch with her. That was good, and then I went to my room after submitting my China photos to yearbook (I hope that they choose one of mine) quickly to get my things, and then I went to drawing class... That turned out to be a good class because all we did was show everyone one of our drawings from our journals and talk about them for a bit. It was neat to see everyone's drawings and hear about them and the corresponding experiences to those drawings. After that, I went to my room where Tricia was watching a movie—the same thing I'd wanted to do. She's sick, poor thing :-( I watched "Just Married," the Hindi version, basically... It was entirely in Hindi, with the exception of a few English phrases here and there, but I am very interested in their culture with arranged marriages, and I understood enough to get by... It was a very interesting view into their culture and I enjoyed it very much. After that, I went out to call the ryokan (inn) in Kyoto I want to stay at (they didn't answer... shoot. I'm not going to go if I don't have a place to stay, and apparently it's the cherry blossom festival and almost everything is booked :-( Why'd we have to go at this time of year? As much as I love cherry blossoms... oh well) and ran into Caitlin and Brittany, and talked with them for a while. I then went to my room to do a bunch of sink laundry and listen to music. I simply do not listen to enough music while on SAS, and it is quite sad for me. I wish that there could always be music playing, everywhere. I really feel like going to a very loud concert or something and just getting lost in the music, and dancing. I don't ever dance and that makes me sad, too. The only thing I dance with nowadays is the elliptical :-P Anyway, I went up to the 7^th deck forward, where it had rained and it was very cold (I was only wearing a t-shirt but I didn't care), so nobody was up there—exactly what I wanted. I just needed to get away from people, and I still do. I've had enough of everybody on this ship, and there's nowhere I can escape and be free—I can hole myself up in my room but it often receives visitors, and why would I want to cage myself? I just wish I could go for a long walk in a park alone or something. It was so great to be up there, though, and it was just me, the ocean, the rocking ship, and my music. It was fantastic. I feel the infinity and oneness of everything around me when I go off on my own to watch the waves, and I get a thrill when the wind picks up and it brushes against me. I will miss being able to feel the way I do when I get to connect with the ocean the way I do, and I will definitely need to get on a speed boat on rocky waters after this, to feel the movement I have come to love while at sea. After that, I realized that I should probably eat, and here I am right now, in the dining hall, alone (thank goodness), but not really (there are so many loud people around me right now but they aren't bothering me, as I am listening to my music). All day today I have felt as much as yesterday the emptiness I have been experiencing, and I can't stop thinking about him (but I'm not trying to)... Well, I have to go to cultural pre-port for Japan, so I will update this later.

Later: 46,500 words. That's how many words are in this journal, and there are even more because there are a handful of entries that I didn't write in Word first (I've been saving my entries)... I'm in Global right now... urgh. Michael Buble just came on the speakers, and I'm dying to own his cd(s?). I must admit that I love his music. Anyway, yesterday I went to open mic night for the first time, and even told one of my stories. It was the kind of story, though, that isn't as funny unless you yourself were involved (I told my Forbidden City story—you will hear about it later, I promise!), and then I had a nice, fitful sleep... The ship has been rocking almost as badly as it had on the trek from Brazil to South Africa, and I'm sure it'll get worse after Japan. I feel that I am very lucky to have never felt seasick, and I've discovered that I have an iron stomach: this whole trip I've drunk sketchy water, eaten from the street vendors, etc., and barely used any Pepto Bismol as a preventative measure, and I haven't gotten sick at all! I've only gotten small-scale food poisoning once in my life (just before I left to go on this trip, actually), so maybe that boosted my immunity to possibly unsafe foods... Or, I've just gotten lucky! lol It's funny how people talk about having traveler's diarrhea—again—and it's no big deal on the ship because it's such a common occurrence... But on a pleasanter note, tomorrow we will be arriving in Kobe, Japan—I am convinced that it will be my favorite Asian port.

April 15, 2008

Hey guys. Man have the past handful of days been crazy! Here goes...

The last time I had updated I wasn't feeling too well—my stomach was unsettled and I thought that I just had to let it digest more, but after 3 hours of waiting for that to happen, I finally managed to make myself throw up in the hopes that I would feel better. I did, but then I threw up another time, and then another... Each time I threw up I got weaker and weaker, and I quickly realized that I had gotten food poisoning from the ship's food from lunch that day (I was feeling so unwell that I didn't eat dinner)... I was so dehydrated and drank the water that Teneya was so nice to keep getting for me from the other side of the ship in the dining halls, but threw it up right away. All night this continued, and it was the worst night of my whole life. Finally, the doctor came to my room to give me some anti-vomit pills, and I managed to keep one down and get about 4 hours of sleep until it started back up again. I finally begged for the shot that would make me stop vomiting—I would take anything at that point, even a needle in my arm... After I got the shot, it took about 5 times of throwing up for it to finally kick in. I must have vomited 15 times that night... I fell asleep in the hospital's infirmary room the morning that we arrived in Japan, and then was sent to my room to get some sleep in my own bed. After sleeping for a while, I had to get up again (not so easy because I was really weak, but I fortunately could drink water and hold it down, so I wasn't dehydrated—thank goodness...) to get cleared by the Japanese government, which meant getting off the ship and standing in long lines... ick. I waited in line for a while but couldn't stand any longer from exhaustion, so I asked the person behind me to preserve my spot, promising that I would come back when he got closer... When I sat down, though, a nice crewman from the ship saw that I wasn't feeling well and let me go through right then and there. I got back on the ship, and sadly, missed the whole first day of Japan for resting and sleeping. I had to force myself to eat, even though I was so, so scared to for fear of throwing up again. I didn't finally eat until the evening, when Teneya came to bring me up to the dining hall (I was still so weak that I had to take the elevator) to get some hot water for the cup of soup I had bought in another port (I'd missed dinner and didn't particularly want to eat the ship's food anyway for fear of getting sick again). I was very reluctant to eat it. I finally did, drank some more water, and went back to the room. I was so happy that I felt fine after eating—what a relief. I felt that I might not be able to go to my homestay the next day because I still felt unwell and weak, so I left a note for the field office director, warning him that I wasn't planning on going. I slept well that night, and when I woke up, I felt much better and could move around on my own almost completely normally, and could stand for a while without feeling exhausted, so I was able to do the homestay. Yay! I met them that morning and my "mom"'s name was Ikue, my Dad's Kenichiro, and my "little brother"'s name was Kunimi (which I think is an adorable and endearing name—I like it a lot). We went to sushi with another homestay family, whose SAS "daughter" was Stephanie, a nice girl I was acquainted with. I was kind of nervous about eating sushi just after having had food poisoning, so I just ate shrimp sushi and I had a slice of melon. I didn't have to eat much, which was fortunate—I lacked an appetite the whole time I was on the homestay thanks to the lasting effects of the food poisoning... Anyway, the place we went to for sushi was casual but cool because it had sushi plates on a conveyor belt that goes right past where you are sitting so you can grab anything that you want from it. Also, the color plate it on indicated if it had wasabi on it: yellow if it has it, white if it doesn't. It was yummy and a fun experience. I was very tired and this point, though, so we went to Ikue's apartment for a nap, where I slept on a futon. It was quite comfortable, and I took a nap next to Kunimi, their little 2 year old boy. Something that confused me was the fact that they were still letting this 2 year old breastfeed, and to be honest, it really bothered me. As it turns out, a lot of Japanese parents are pushovers and let their children do as they please, so if they still want to breastfeed at age 2, then they will go with it. I personally think it's wrong to let a child breastfeed at such an old age, hence it bothered me—really, really bothered me. Anyway, we then did origami together, where Kenichiro explained to me that boys don't do origami—only girls. Boys make paper airplanes. My homestay parents spoke really good English. I then helped Ikue make one of the many different kinds of sushi—sushi isn't just the rolls, apparently. The sushi we made is essentially rice mixed with some unidentifiable pickled vegetables, which was good. We made it for the potluck that night with a whole bunch of other homestay families in the area. That get-together was kind of weird—They're all members of the Hippo Family Club, which is learning foreign languages and cultures, but it was weird because when we got there, they were doing these awkward dances/singing along to cds—it was very similar to the Hokey Pokey (which we, sadly, also did :-P)... Then, we all sat down in a circle and they spoke into a microphone, introducing themselves in foreign languages. It was cool that they knew them so well, but it was weird because one person would be speaking, and it seemed like everyone else knew exactly what they were going to say because they would say it along with them, and it seemed kind of cultish because they were all so extra happy. It was just weird, I dunno how to explain it... Anyway, we finally ate, and the food was really good. I enjoyed it a lot. Then, we went to the top of Rokko Mountain, which is nearby, to see the night view of Kobe. It was really beautiful, and a bit chilly. We then decided to do the real, original Japanese karaoke! It was lots of fun. They call it doing it in a "box," not a bar like we Americans do: you rent a room for however long you want to (we did it with another big homestay family) and it has a projector screen, loudspeakers, 2 microphones, and a thing that you use to queue the songs you want to sing. They had plenty of Japanese and American songs to choose from. I sang "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden and "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls with Stephanie, and sang "Hotel California" by the Eagles with Stephanie and Blake. It was lots of fun. We then went to sleep, and the next day, we went to an onsen (public bath/hot spring) in the mountains (on my request... I'm not sure why I requested to do it with my family when I was aware that it involved getting naked...). Yes, naked. In front of every other woman bathing at the onsen. They obviously don't care. But it was awkward for me. But, I figured, when in Japan, do as the Japanese do! I went in with my mom (again, kind of awkward...), and it was so hot that I couldn't even stay in for 10 minutes. That was nice, and killed my appetite, so when we went for a nice Japanese lunch, I could only have a salad (and had maybe 5 bites before I was full). After that, we went back to their apartment, where I tried to make sleeping arrangements for that night in Kyoto, but it didn't work out so I wound up not spending the night there (I'm glad I didn't because I was super tired and needed proper rest in my own bed). Random observation: the apartment my "family" lived in was very energy and space efficient. It was also well made but with cheap materials. It was interesting to see that, because I know such accommodations are necessary in a highly populated country like Japan. I really didn't feel like Japan was overcrowded, though. It felt just like being in a big city in America—lots of people but no big deal. I felt that Japan and America are two very similar countries (with the exception of our cultures being exceedingly different, but the economy, general welfare of the population, cleanliness, etc were the same). They definitely have the whole public transportation thing down, though, which we most definitely do not. I envy their ability to take an affordable train ride to far-away places, with less environmental impact because they use public transportation. I imagine I would take little day trips to places all over the area if I had that available to me. I wish so much that we had those trains in America. Plus, they're super fast (this isn't even talking about the bullet trains—I never rode one while there, but the trains they use for local use are as fast as rollercoasters—one zipped by when I was standing in the train station and it startled me as much as if I was next in line to get on Deja Vu at Six Flags!), so you get there at a very decent time, especially if you take a limited express, which will only stop at select stops, rather than each and every one. Anyway, we then went to Yoko (Ikue's friend)'s house to don some real kimono!!! As it turns out, kimono cost a couple thousand dollars each, so I thought that I wasn't going to be able to get one... Anyway, it was so meaningful to me to be able to wear one—I didn't even ask to, so it was very kind of them to offer it. They sure do tie the obis tightly, but I'm sure it's nothing compared to wearing a corset. After we all got dressed, we got to do a tea ceremony (so cool!!! Got it on tape ;-)), which was such an honor to be a part of. I got to see and experience for myself a handful of the things that geisha do and wear on this trip, so it was really special to me. We then hung out together and ate weird and slightly unappetizing Japanese sweets (they're really into jellies and unpleasant consistencies in their food, especially with their sweets), and had chocolate, and talked. It was very nice. They then brought us back to the ship. I then went out with Caitlin in search of some sake and dinner, and we went into downtown Kobe via train (only two stops and $2) and wound up at an interesting little restaurant. We got our own table that was kind of separated from everyone else, and got a bottle of sake each to share. They were both way too sweet and I couldn't drink them—at first I really liked it, but after about 3 sips I thought it was nasty. I also really wanted to try Kobe beef, which is the world's most deliciously amazing beef, apparently, but oddly enough, it was hard to find a place that had it—in Kobe, for goodness sake... lol so silly. Anyway, I had some udon and passion fruit ice cream. It was a nice evening with some really good company and conversation, and then I went to bed around 1 am. I intended to wake up at about 8 to leave for Kyoto by myself, but didn't manage to get up until 9:30 because I was absolutely exhausted. It was the last day in Japan, but even so, it was so hard to get out of bed. Anyway, I got out of there, and it is so nice and convenient that the train station is almost right next to where we were docked, so it didn't take me long to get there—I left at about 10:30 am. I got to downtown Kobe at Sannomiya station, got a little confused about where to go but finally got on my way, and then had about a 50 minute train ride to Juso, where I switched trains, and then had a total of an hour and a half ride to get to Kyoto. I felt so adventurous being out on my own and going to the one place in Japan I wanted to go to most: the city of geisha. I enjoyed listening to my iPod and watching the people on the train. Random observation: the Japanese women are some of the most best-dressed ladies I've ever seen in my life by far (they rival the Italians!). They always wear heels and they're really into business chic. They're all so beautiful, too, but I must say that I noticed that a lot of women (and probably men but it's not like they had their legs showing) were bow-legged and/or had especially thick calves that caused them to look really awkward. It was weird—I guess it's kind of an ethnic deformity or something. Anyway, I finally got to Kyoto and strolled down the busy main street, Shijo-dori, toward Gion, the geisha district. I had a delicious tempura Japanese lunch all by myself ($21 overlooking the river... It's ridiculous how much everything costs in Japan, I really hate that about it), and then got my ticket for the geisha's annual cherry blossom festival. The theme this year was the Tale of Genji. Then, having two hours to kill, I walked around and got some green tea ice cream, which was good, and did a little shopping. I also visited a big orange temple, which was really cool to see. After that, I figured I'd loop around and get off the main strip to see some other part of Kyoto that isn't Shijo-dori (aka big, fancy, expensive products and hotels). I wound up in an antique kimono shop, where the nice shopkeeper asked me where I was from, and then gave me a very good discount on a kimono I wanted: from 5,000+ yen down to 3,000 yen, without me asking (a difference of $20—so, my kimono cost $30, when a brand new full kimono set would cost $1,000 at least) and I got a pretty plain orange obi to go with it. Sweet :-) Before I left, he gave me a cute little cell phone charm (everyone—even the men—have cell phone charms... It's adorable)—he was so nice! I then eventually wound up in an antiques store, where I bought two matching teacups (that didn't look very antique but I liked them anyway), another teacup/tiny bowl, and several small paintings, some with calligraphy, some with a flower or a scene. They're really cool. I then headed back to Gion Corner to go see the geisha dance, which was absolutely wonderful to see (I cried a little), and I sat in the unreserved seats in the very back on "tatami" mats (aka pillowy pads... not real tatami mats, but these, I'm sure, are much more comfortable than tatami mats, so I'm not complaining)... I snuck a few pictures and video here and there, even though we weren't supposed to, so I am happy to have some documentation of it. It was so awesome. Geishas move so smoothly and elegantly, and they can keep their balance and hold a move quite impressively. Their fans alone must have cost $500 each, and who knows how much each kimono cost. I wish I would have one of them. Maybe someday when I'm a famous millionaire :-P anyway, after that I haunted the street that is lined with the 17^th-century teahouses that the geisha go to for engagements in the early evening (they go to them around 6, so it was perfect timing) until I could catch a glimpse of one... I saw two young women dressed as geisha, but I am convinced that they were not real geisha because they were just standing around and letting people take pictures of them. A real geisha doesn't just stand around and do nothing—they always have something to do and don't have time to be harassed by tourists. I took pictures of them, anyway, in case I didn't see a real one. After about 10 minutes after that, I caught a glimpse of a meiko (apprentice geisha) up a side street, shoved people aside to get to her, and took pictures like a fiend, even following her until she made it to her destination: a teahouse on the main street. It was so unbelievably exciting for me. She was so pretty, too. I admit that I cried with happiness after that—it was one of the things that I wanted to do before I died and I got to see one! They're dying out, too, so who knows if I'll ever be able to see one again? It was soooo amazing. Next time I come to Kyoto, I want to dress up like a geisha (you can do it at this one shop for about $60... I just didn't have time nor an appointment :-(...). I then left on the train to get back to Kobe, arrived around 8 pm, scrambled to get some stamps for my millions of postcards, and got back on the ship by 8:45—15 minutes until I had to be on the ship before I would get dock time in Hawaii, our next port. The next day, we had already set sail and the seas got super rough. I didn't do much except go to drawing class (we did middle tone... again...) and sign up with Caitlin and Kira for the Ambassador's Ball dinner—we signed up for the later one at 8 pm. Teneya and everyone else signed up for a whole table with no room for us, which was fine with me... whatever. I'm going to have filet mignon! Yum! They also give you a glass of champagne for a champagne toast. It's going to be so much fun. Anyway, today—the second April 15^th (we crossed the International Date Line last night!)—I slept in through Global Studies because last night the seas were so ridiculously rough that I hardly got any sleep... Then, I had to go meet with the food manager to talk about me possibly have gotten food poisoning from the ship's food, where they made a big deal about it... They had gathered up the nurse and doctor that I had seen that night and everything, but as nobody else got the same symptoms, it couldn't have been food poisoning. I'm still convinced that it had something to do with the ship's food, so Doc Brown said that I probably reacted to it weirdly. The lady that was the hotel manager who was there, too, acted toward me like I was a threat or something—I wasn't trying to rain on her parade, I just wanted to get to the bottom of the problem and find a solution. My solution is that I will be a vegetarian (with the exception of at the Ambassador's Ball lol) for the rest of the voyage... Doc said it was a viral infection. I have never reacted so violently to a viral infection but whatever. I just don't want it happen ever, ever again!!! Well, it's time for me to get ready for class, so I'm out. Love you guys!

Michelle